I’ve got four homework assignments

Which would be fine if I had any of the books i need to do the work… Also, my charger is completely broke so now i have no phone and i have my driving test on the 27th… ugh


Is exactly what I needed to turn myself around. I was feeling down for a while and losing motivation slowly and now that I have things to do its brought back my purpose. I crave the tasks and stress that come along with it and that might sound crazy to some who hear it but its how I function. I love being in college and the only complaint would be the fact that my financial aid has yet to come in. I need my materials and supply so not having the finds to purchase them I by far the only stress I’m not excited about but I’m hoping to get it soon. For now, I shall head to my next class… Math. Eew.




literally me

Happy Birthday to Me! Whoo!!! I’m 21!!!

I’m going to Arizona for my birthday!

My friend invited me out there to celebrate me turning 21 since I sadly had no other plans and I am ecstatic to be going out there on the 9th, (I will be staying a full week.) Its sad though because every time I pack for a trip I realize how little clothes I have. 

Also: I want a sun hat so I don’t get all burnt out there. Hopefully I can get one but all the pretty stuff is always expensive.

Anyhow, I’m excited! 


If you want me,
You need to show me.
If I push you away,
please just push back,
and declare me as your own.
Because I’ve spent my whole life being unwanted,
And I need to be shown that I’m wanted.
I’m scared,
So show me I don’t need to be.
And I will be yours.
(via everydaysogay)

I have Social Anxiety

People make me nervous. When I’m surrounded by many I tend to bubble up. I love people and I am a people pleaser; to a flaw. I strive to make others happy but most of the time I end up making myself sad. 

I get nervous around big or small groups, whether they be family or not. I have taken years to learn to love and accept myself and though I’ve come far, I still have a long ways to go.

I am happy, mostly. But- for some reason people bring out my insecurities. I hate feeling the way I do sometimes. I hate thinking the way I do sometimes. I notice that with family I am scared to face them because all my life I’ve been a flaw. I don’t have anything going for me and I have so many internal and external issues.

Sometimes I fade myself out of certain situations and see how unnoticed I go. I used to think It was me but I see now that I’ve been poisoned my whole life. I have been looked down on and talked down to my entire life. I was made a joke for a lengthy period of my existence and at times I still am but I’ve worked past that. 

Its just that these anxiety’s and issues bring back the past and make me feel smaller than small. I hate remembering how I used to make myself feel at times because It takes me to that point again. 

I’m finally doing things and getting my life together and It makes me excited. I might not have everything I need or might want but Im doing my best to get organized and get myself to a place where I am content because at the end of the day that’s all anybody can ask for.

I’m just honestly ready to be free of my demons and look forward to a good life even if it might not always be the best. 

This isn’t necessarily a happy post or a sad one but its a reminder to myself that no matter where I am in life or how I feel at the time, I have so much to look forward to and that’s all that matters.